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1.
falling seemed exciting. now i'm shuddered awake by the blue line every morning. i'm just fine, i don't need any help. just let me lay where i fell, lie to myself. migraines living behind eyes that retreat further back into their sockets.
2.
show off. exotic birds, dancing black and blue on tv, have english accents launching them to fame. i can't stop shaking. the lion has stalked its prey for days, it's time to kill. when you face your attackers just play dead, keep them guessing. washed up. ironic habits i put outside for display have lost their value, and i've become cliche. i'm not an addict, just homesick for solitary space and time alone. stuff your head full of parks and gardens, you'll feel just fine until the predators have left. you're full of starved receptors. they've run out of what sustains them. so have mine.
3.
space heaters and declarations that australian sun's not worth the warmth. acid that we bought from elevators going up, feels like i'm falling down. my house has gone under the sea but i retain my residency. oxygen is slowly killing me. it's getting hard to breathe. i need to find new lungs. i'm still getting high on empathy but i don't know how long this feeling lasts. open up your chest and let the bluebirds out. warn them that reflections aren't their friends. now i'm dependent on filling prescriptions to get me through the day.
4.
Milwke Ave 05:01
authors tell me "survive, then write. embrace odd things as they come." drinking nightly, headlights blind me. no arms, blackout, down i go. now i wish i could wave goodbye. wish i could wave goodbye to you. without lights this is no good. without lights you look just like a statue. shoulders divide over concrete, shirt sleeves embrace new red stains. doctors believe they know relief, how well do they cope with pain? so i'm still alive and i'm slightly disappointed, there's little to be said about simply surviving. hemingway drank and somehow found his inspiration. alcohol has drowned my clarity.

credits

released May 29, 2013

charlie the knife is william charles mcevilly
for shows/info please contact charlietheknife@gmail.com

"demo" was engineered by matt ibarra of strange tapes (matthewjamesibarra@gmail.com) and mastered by dennis pleckham of comatose studio (comatosestudio@yahoo.com)

thanks to matt, josh and maggie for singing backups. thanks to madeleine, nick and josh for enduring and encouraging my singing. lots of love for empty isle, scoundrel freak dogs, leech and the whole gang at niceys'

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Charlie the Knife Chicago, Illinois

Bending until broken.

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